


Going Forth By Day

by rudolphsb9



Series: Books Of The Night [1]
Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Apocalypse, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, F/M, Gen, Kahmunrah has issues, Lots and lots of hints, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, Saving the World, Sibling Make Up Again, Sibling Rivalry, The Gate of Kahmunrah, The Tablet of Ahkmenrah, hints of Tablet Guardians (mostly one-sided), with hints of Brotherly Fuck You as well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-01-27 01:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12570656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudolphsb9/pseuds/rudolphsb9
Summary: “You shouldn’t have tried to escape from me,” Kahmunrah said forbiddingly. A lump lodged in Larry’s throat. Before, Kahmunrah was just some nuisance to deal with in a creative fashion so he could go home and move on with his life. Now, he was dangerous.Larry had to get out, and he had to get out quickly. And alive. Preferably alive.***Larry had no idea what was in store for him when Kahmunrah started messing around with doors to the underworld.





	1. Chapter One

Kahmunrah was relishing the moment; that was the impression Larry gained from the way he moved, languidly walking to the Gate of Kahmunrah with the tablet in hand after he had carelessly tossed Jed’s hourglass to Larry. “Must be a real bummer for you, Larry,” he said as he walked, “knowing that all of your valiant efforts were in the end for naught. What a terrible disappointment you must be to yourself,” he added as he inserted the tablet into its slot and started entering the combination given to him by Al, who’d obtained it from a captured bobble-head Einstein he was now holding by the hair. When he finished, a metallic hiss cut the air and the tablet started to glow, followed by the hieroglyphs on the Gate itself. “Do you hear that humming sound?” Kahmunrah asked as he turned to face his captive audience. “Do you know what that sound is?” Ivan raised a hand to answer, but Kahmunrah cut him off with a terse, slightly exhausted “It’s rhetorical.” “That is the sound of the End!” he concluded, lapsing back into his mood easily. Then he raised his hands, closed his eyes, and started chanting.

Larry stared at him for several moments and then looked down at the hourglass as he spoke. “I’m sorry, Jed,” he said.

Jed sighed and waved a hand almost dismissively. “You did your best, Gigantor,” he replied. “Dadgummit, we almost had him, too.”

“No, I mean I’m sorry I wasn’t around the last couple years at the museum. Maybe none of this would’ve happened.” Larry glanced up at Kahmunrah and the tablet and Gate again.

“You don’t get it, do you, Gigantor? I didn’t call you ‘cause we needed your help. Ah, sure, we were in a little pickle, but it wouldn’t have been the first time I had to wrastle my way out of a root sack. No, partner, I called you ‘cause you needed us. That fancy suit you been paradin’ around in these past couple years, that there’s a hangin’ suit. All gussied up but dead inside. That ain’t you.” Larry glanced at Kahmunrah again, and Jed plunged on. “Hey, tell ya another thing.”

“Yeah?”

“This night ain’t over yet. This little midnight cowboy’s got some fight left in him. Something tells me you do, too. Ho now.” He gestured vaguely as he spoke, then pumped his fist in the air toward Larry. Larry nodded, and the Gate started to open. The skeleton motif slid forward, dislodging and depositing dirt and debris as it went, and then the door swung open. The light from behind the door bathed the witnesses, and Al dropped the bobble head Einstein in shock. Larry shielded his eyes to better see the clouds and particles swirling around beyond the threshold of the Gate. “Oh, boy,” Jed mouthed as Kahmunrah spoke.

“Welcome to the new extended reign of Kahmunrah, fifth king of Egypt, and now, _the world_!” The particles in the Underworld started to coalesce into vaguely recognizable shapes. “Horus, Ra, my warriors, come forth!” he shouted as bird-headed warriors armed with spears emerged from the murky chaos and started marching into the room, two at a time. Larry started backing up, and the French soldiers behind him put their bayonets to his back. Al, Ivan, and Napoleon started to flee. “Send Larry Daley and his friends to their doom!”

A birdman let out a gravelly squawk, like a war cry.

The two columns of bird warriors forked and started to encircle Larry, who still tried to back away, right up to the moment where he realized he was surrounded. More bird soldiers formed a second ring around the night guard, and Kahmunrah called them to a halt and ordered the ones in the ring closest to him to take aim at Larry’s throat with their spears. They obeyed.

Kahmunrah made his way leisurely through the ranks. “Any last words, Mr. Daley of Daley Devices?” he asked. Larry carefully turned to face him, then looked back at the hourglass in his hand and the little cowboy trapped inside. Jed’s words came back to him. “This night ain’t over yet. This little midnight cowboy’s got some fight left in him. Somethin’ tells me you do, too.” Inside the hourglass, Jed looked up at Larry with a serious, man-facing-his-last-stand expression and nodded once, resolutely. Larry looked up at Kahmunrah.

“I’ve got more than just a few last words for you,” he replied, and he raised the hourglass above his head and threw it down as hard as he could. Wood splintered, glass shattered, sand splashed over Larry’s shoes. Kahmunrah jumped in his sandals and looked up from the mess that used to be an hourglass to Larry, mortified. But Larry was already on the move. He’d ducked under the spears of the two warriors behind them and elbowed them both in the ribs as he squeezed his way between them. Kahmunrah shouted something in Egyptian, and the bird warriors were after him, collapsing the circle and giving chase. Larry dove past the outer ring and took off running toward the wall. A few of the bird warriors circled around the Gate to catch him on the other side, and Larry skidded to a halt. He glanced quickly between the group coming up around to stop him and the group giving chase, and he started backing up toward the corner, struggling against the haze of fear to pull together a cohesive plan that would save his life. One of the birdmen screeched at him, and he recognized it as identical to the first screech he’d heard from one of them, though he couldn’t tell if the vocal birds were one and the same or not. Larry turned toward him and noticed it had advanced quickly, prodding the air in front of him as if to provoke a response. A lead ball settled deep into the pit of Larry’s stomach.

He looked around at his adversaries one more time and then slipped his flashlight into his hand and turned to the closest of his enemies. He pushed the spear out of his way and struck again, clocking the birdman in the jaw, then again in the temple for good measure. Several other attackers had encircled him then, and Larry ducked just as two of them thrust their spears at him. One suffered a scratch on the shoulder as the spear tip cut through one of the leather bandoliers crossed across its chest; the other got away without a scratch. Larry skirted past them both and bolted toward the Gate, hoping for freedom. A birdman stepped in front of him and thrust his spear in Larry’s face as he squawked. Larry skidded to a halt and backed up on the instinct to avoid getting impaled through something important, like his eye or his brain. Several of the birdman’s buddies encircled Larry, forbidding him from attempting another escape, and he heard a set of slow, even, frightening footsteps come up behind him.

“You shouldn’t have tried to escape from me,” Kahmunrah said forbiddingly. A lump lodged in Larry’s throat. Before, Kahmunrah was just some nuisance to deal with in a creative fashion so he could go home and move on with his life. Now, he was dangerous.

Larry had to get out, and he had to get out quickly. And alive. Preferably alive. Ideally with the tablet, of course, but he was coming to swiftly accept that that probably wouldn’t be a possibility. He raised his hands slowly, taking in the circle of birdmen and Kahmunrah himself. Okay, so, outnumbered, outgunned, probably gonna die… _I’m starting to like those odds_ , he thought, and he popped Kahmunrah right in the nose with the flashlight. Kahmunrah cried out with shock and pain and stumbled backward, nearly collapsing, with his hands over his nose. Larry turned to the birdman immediately behind him and grabbed the spear with his free hand, kicking the warrior in the stomach. The warrior squawked, and Larry used the momentum to get out of the way of his buddies, all thrusting at him trying to catch him. He ducked under all their spears and tried again, pushing all his weight against the door of the Gate without hesitation. This was going a lot better than he thought, but then, he was running on blind instinct.

He grabbed the tablet and bolted for the exit when he felt something on his shoulder, jerking him back. He saw the flash of a curved sword—a _khopesh_ , Ahkmenrah had called them. The hand with the flashlight raised up, to block, but he was too late. Kahmunrah had sliced neatly across his cheek. He lifted the weapon again, swinging toward Larry’s ear. Larry blocked again and tried to strike, but Kahmunrah was a lot faster than that. He spun out of the way of attempted strike number three and tossed the tablet toward the door like a Frisbee. Kahmunrah spun with him, slicing deep across Larry’s back, cutting bone and threatening the spinal cord. Larry dropped to his knees, doubling over, and Kahmunrah grabbed him from behind, pressing the blade to his throat but not breaking skin. Larry tried to keep his breathing level. “Now, let’s see how you feel about trying that again!” Kahmunrah hissed, emphasizing his point by pressing the blade just a little bit closer to Larry’s windpipe. Larry gasped but otherwise tried to show no response.

Then, he thought of it. “Is—isn’t this thing a little too short for you?” he asked.

“What?” Kahmunrah’s grip on him slackened just enough; Larry elbowed him, first in the ribs and then, after he was in position, right in the nose. And he shot forward. Kahmunrah latched onto his wrist, trying to pull him back. Larry slid in the pool of his own blood that had started to form under them, and kicked Kahmunrah in the hip. He scrambled forward, his hands catching him in the pool but eventually he gained enough purchase to take off running toward the tablet. Kahmunrah shot to his feet and took off after him, nearly slipping and falling in comic fashion in the pool of blood but keeping his footing by a miracle of God. Larry dove, sliding across the floor. His hand grazed the surface of the tablet, and he pulled it close to his chest. He could hear Kahmunrah launching toward him, and at the last possible second he rolled over, out of the way.

The adrenaline kick of the fight and the dizziness caused by his blood loss were starting to compete with each other in earnest. Kahmunrah was wax, he didn’t have to worry about all that. But the thought that that….monster…could win this fight utterly sickened Larry, and hardened his resolve. Kahmunrah launched at him again, and Larry rolled onto his back, slipping the tablet behind him. He kicked Kahmunrah in the face to stop his advance. Eventually he had to be able to drop him! The dizziness was starting to win, and when he tried to shift position it started to settle in in earnest. Kahmunrah staggered to his feet, raised his sword, and plunged it toward him. Larry turned, hearing the sword slam into the linoleum, though not very far off the mark. Kahmunrah was on top of him now and in perfect position, and Larry was trapped. The most he could do would be to physically get the tablet away from Kahmunrah and even that wouldn’t last very long.

Well, at least he was going to die trying. Oddly that was a more comforting thought than the saying made it out to be.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl, as Kahmunrah raised the khopesh again, allowing a small, victorious, perhaps slightly manic smile. Instinctively Larry curled out of the way, covering his face and curling in on himself as the blade came down again.

The tablet flashed suddenly and violently, a brilliant burst of light, before shooting a column into the ceiling and beyond, toward the sky with no heed for such things as roofs and tiles. Light radiated out from it in a sphere, expanding rapidly. Larry was blinded, but the light was…warm, and very soothing. It spread through his aching limbs and to his brain, lulling him. It was easy for him to believe he could just…sleep… His eyes rolled closed and he went limp.


	2. Chapter Two

Nicky started awake, and looked up and around, trying to get his bearings. The apartment was dark, and he reached for his phone, only to find the handset for the apartment line. He tapped the touchpad on his stepfather’s laptop and signed in, to come face to face with a page on the Smithsonian’s layout and design, and some of the featured exhibits.

His eyes went to the clock, realizing it was 4:23 AM and remembering exactly what he’d been doing all night: waiting to hear back from his father on the status of the mission.

He figured he must’ve slept perhaps three hours, which meant he hadn’t heard of Larry since one or so, as the handset had no missed calls. He breathed, slowing down, and tried to figure out what woke him up. Then he noticed something, a reflection of golden light spreading across his screen. He looked over his shoulder and then stood and walked over to the apartment window.

His eyes went wide at the sight of the sphere of perfectly golden light expanding across the city, and he almost wanted to gasp, “Whoa.” The light made it look like a sunrise, if the Sun rose from the south.

The light flew through the room, a threshold of night and day that nearly winded him, creating an illusion of force that knocked him to the ground, or felt like it did. The only trouble with him was that he was temporarily blinded, and when he opened his eyes, everything around him looked bathed in a golden hue. It reminded him of certain perfect moments when the new sun hit his room just right and lit up everything.

The trouble was, sunrise wasn’t due for another hour and a half.

His mind, made fuzzy by the light itself, began to clear, and he staggered to his feet and rushed out the door of the apartment, grabbing his coat along the way.

***

The first thing he felt was pain, and his ears ringing at the ungodly shrieking sound echoing all around him, in the small enclosed space he suddenly found himself. His entire body shook as the scream faded into some choked sound that sounded straight from the Underworld, before disappearing entirely. His throat burned, and he realized the scream had been his all along. He struggled to breathe, to get air in his lungs amid the pain, and then, as suddenly as the pain had appeared and taken over his body, it was gone. In its place was a heavy soreness that would’ve lulled him into sleep if he could sleep. His breathing was deep, rapid, and heavy, and he realized with sweet, delicious relief that he was breathing.

He tried to listen around the museum, and see if anybody else was also awake as he was. All he heard was silence; and his heart thundering in his chest, racked with pain and fear. Gingerly he stretched out his sore arms in front of him until his fingertips brushed the inside of the stone sarcophagus and the worn glyphs carved on the inside, spells to help ensure passage into the Underworld. It was real, he thought with a sweet relief, and pressed his palms to the lid, pushing upward. The lid gave, until it didn’t anymore, as the hinges caught on the pins and prevented the full removal of the lid. He was only afforded a precious half-inch worth with which to gain information about the museum around him.

He’d never felt so small.

***

Nicky ran, weaving through the meager traffic of the early morning and darting through parks and leaping over benches and trashcans, fueled by the adrenaline caused by the total awareness that the only person who would know what was going on would be in the Museum of Natural History. It hadn’t even occurred to Nicky that he might not even be awake, even though logically it should have.

He took a clean straight path through Central Park, a long, straining path. His breathing was cold and ragged and rough and heavy, but he couldn’t stop. He didn’t dare, and he could feel that too much was at stake to risk slowing down for any reason. His feet pounded the paved track, and the park felt like it stretched on forever. He thought briefly about the type of dream one would have when they tried to run, but could never run fast enough for whatever reason, and woke up right before they got caught. Somehow Nicky couldn’t escape the lingering feeling that he was going to wake up, and the entire night was some kind of dream.

Finally he crossed the park, darted across the street in front of some ticked off cab driver, and dashed up the steps in front of the museum, leaning heavily on one of the doors before realizing it was locked. He took a step back, panting for a few moments and staring at the void beyond, and he turned to the door with an ‘authorized access only’ sign next to it. He walked over to it and tested it, finding that it gave with little effort in his part, and he slipped inside.

The halls were too quiet, and it took Nick a moment to remember that while the tablet wasn’t in the museum, the museum was as lifeless as any other.

Except….

Screaming drifted down the hall to his ears, echoing across the walls and down corridors, and Nicky ran in the direction it came from, weaving through the corridors and picking up other noises, such as clanking and banging sounds. He realized about then that he was headed to the Egyptian wing, and he knew something was very up and probably had to do with that light. He paused at the entry to the temple, waiting for the Jackals to attack him or at the very least look at him funny, but they didn’t move. The lid of the sarcophagus did, however, move slightly, and Nicky rushed over, lunging against the stone slab that served as a lid, struggling with it until it tottered precariously on the corner of the case and then collapsed onto the floor with a heavy thunk. The figure in the sarcophagus seemed to freeze in the heavy silence that followed.

Nick breathed heavily for several moments before removing the pins from the lid and lifting it off of Ahkmenrah, who gasped gratefully but said nothing. Nick reached in to help him out, and Ahkmenrah leaned on him and hobbled along as they walked through the uncharacteristically quiet halls. “How come you’re the only one up?” Nicky asked him in a hushed whisper, in case something was terribly wrong, or it was a godawful joke that all the exhibits but Ahkmenrah knew about or were willing to play. But something told him that light he saw earlier meant nothing but business.

“I…I don’t know,” Ahkmenrah replied, drawing closer to Nicky and looking around at all the still, quiet exhibits. The ones that remained, at least. “The tablet’s not here.”

Nicky nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

Ahkmenrah paused. “How do you mean?”

“Dexter took it.”

“Oh,” the pharaoh replied, deadpan. “Of course.”

“It’s at the Smithsonian now, bringing the world’s biggest museum to life. Including your big brother.”

The two of them paused then, and Nicky looked at Ahkmenrah to gauge his reaction. “Is he there?” the pharaoh asked. “Is everyone alright?” He paused when he realized Nicky had no idea how to answer, and it was just the two of them now. “What do you propose we do?”


	3. Chapter Three

Talia sighed as she walked into the apartment, throwing her jacket at the first available surface without even looking to see where it was going. Her night had been somewhat unsuccessful in terms of free drinks and someone to finish the night out with, but it was her first night off in quite some time and she had taken full advantage of it nonetheless. A snore from the couch made her start a little before she realized it was Brunden, passed out in a hail of Lays potato chips. The TV was alerting her that it had been inactive for some time, so she walked over and switched it off.

She turned to walk to her half of the apartment, where a bedroom and the half-bath waited, when something caught her attention. A golden light was spreading over the sky, as if engulfing it. She glanced at a corner of the apartment, where the light was present as well, a distinct entity with a sharp line designating what was and was not consumed by the light. Talia backed away, toward the opposite corner, almost thinking about screaming but really focusing on trying to avoid this strange phenomenon, if she could. But, she couldn’t, so instead she was pushed back against the corner, her heart pounding and silently waiting for the end.

When the light touched her, however, it felt like nothing. It merely passed harmlessly over her body as if she were in the beam of a flashlight. It left in its wake a beautiful haze that colored and added vibrancy to everything it came into contact with. Her head clouded ever so slightly, and she dropped to her knees, feeling a little bit like she was in the presence of the most perfect daylight she had ever encountered. No smog or clouds or buildings or shouting drivers or anything, just stillness and peace. She found herself staring up, her arms out slightly as if to embrace this and silently commune with God. Or Gods. Her grandfather had always been somewhat…open minded on the subject of religion. So, she’d had no real specific religious upbringing. It also meant this was perhaps the closest to an actual religious experience she had ever gotten.

The light faded, flowing out of the apartment into the night beyond, spreading across the globe, it seemed like. It was clear no barrier could stop it.

“What’re you doing?” Brunden asked, distracting her from her musings.

Still, Talia could not help but try to smile a little. “D-didn’t you feel that?” she asked.

“Well, yeah, how can you not?”

“So what’re you asking me that for?”

“You just look weird, is all.” He shrugged a little and returned to the bathroom to finish getting ready for his morning shift.

“Oh, screw you,” she replied, with a hint of joke in her voice but more serious than she otherwise might have intended. She pulled herself to her feet and walked into her bedroom, slipping out of her shoes first thing. She sighed a little, curling her toes in the carpet and pulling her slinky black dress off over her head. She grabbed a white, patterned shirt, blue jeans, and a faded green jacket from her closet.

Tucking her pants legs over her sturdier wedge heels, Talia stood and walked out of her room, to find Brunden rummaging through some of his belongings. “I swear I had my ID yesterday.” She walked over to the window, watching the light fade on the horizon, and peered around before stepping out of the apartment and looking for the nearest window on the opposite side of the building. She found it in the stairwell, and she stopped on the landing and gasped.

The window nearly perfectly framed a column of golden light shooting out into the sky, and she knew exactly where it was coming from. She ran back down the hall and leaned on the doorframe. “Brunden! Oh my god!” He looked up.

“What?” She cocked her head, and he followed her to the landing. He stopped and gaped. “Oh, my God,” he gasped.

“C’mon, we need to go.” She tapped him on the arm and bolted down the stairs.

“I’m not on for another three hours!” Brunden protested.

“This is bigger than your time clock!” Talia yelled up the stairwell, before continuing on.

***

Kahmunrah pulled himself to his feet after the tablet had flashed, sending a brilliant glow across the sky to parts unknown, and looked around at the scene in front of him. All the blood he’d spilled from Larry Daley was gone, as if it had never been there in the first place. He frowned at this development and then looked around at everything else. The rogues he had recruited had all but fled in terror, and his soldiers from the underworld were cowering by the walls. Could he blame them, honestly? Well…no. And he couldn’t offer an explanation, either. He’d never heard of the tablet having that kind of power.

He looked at where it lay, still glowing, and wondered briefly what touching it would do to him. He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out. He glanced out the shattered window, where a faint glow in the horizon suggested the light’s path, but there was no other sign of life, museum exhibit or otherwise.

He had just turned his attention to any possibility of structural damage caused by the strange event when he heard high-heeled shoes clunking briskly on the tile behind him. He turned, fully expecting one of the exhibits to have wanted a word with him, when he felt something small but hard and swift strike him across the face. He swore loudly in Egyptian as he dropped to the floor, and through somewhat blurry vision he saw the woman gasp and turn around, her hands over her face. Another woman, that Amelia Earhart exhibit, had just run up to the main entrance and stopped to stare. A man he didn’t recognize was also taking in the bizarre scene. “Everything’s alive!” the man gasped. “Everything’s alive!”

Amelia recovered quickly from the initial shock and straightened, resting her hands on her hips and smirking. “What was that about?” she asked lightly.

The woman, half doubled over, grinned and pointed. “I just slugged Kahmunrah in the face!” Amelia tilted her head and frowned slightly. “Real, actual Kahmunrah! I thought he was just some what’s-his-name in a costume, but he’s real!”

“Well of course he’s the real Kahmunrah. Why would you think otherwise?”

“Well, because the tablet’s—oh.” Her eyes went to the tablet, very clearly present, and then followed the column of light upward. “Well, that explains that,” she said simply. Then her eyes went to Larry, and she walked over to him and squatted. Brunden had gotten there first, and had pressed two fingers to the side of his neck.

“His pulse is good. Can you help move him? Think we need to get a look at his back.” Amelia nodded and rushed over, supporting Larry’s hips while the two strangers held his shoulders. One peered at Larry’s back and they both glanced at Kahmunrah, who had just started pushing himself to his feet.

“You nearly killed him,” she said. “You wouldn’t do otherwise.” They lay Larry back down gently, and the woman stood and walked over to him. She held out a hand and hauled him the rest of the way to his feet.

“Talia?” he asked. She smiled and glanced away ever so slightly.

“How do you two know each other?” Amelia asked, standing and folding her arms across her chest, scrutinizing the pair.

“I sat in front of his exhibit every day during lunch for three and a half years and talked to him until he was put up a year and a half ago for space,” Talia replied with a shrug. “Visited him a bit after he was packed up, too, before they split up the collection and moved him somewhere I didn’t have access to.”

“And after several millennia of silence the spirit begins to take notice rather quickly,” Kahmunrah added.

“I see,” Amelia said.

Talia nodded and took a few steps forward so that she was closer to the midpoint between them. “OK, from the beginning, what happened? Anyone can start, I don’t care.”

Amelia shrugged, pouting her lips and looking off into the distance for a moment. “Well,” she said, “we were all…asleep…for a very long time and then we woke up.”

“That’ll be the tablet,” Talia said.

“How do you know about it?” Kahmunrah asked.

“My grandfather worked as a night guard up in New York, where the tablet usually hangs out. Now, if I had to guess, that crazy little monkey stole the tablet and took it with him, here. OK, then what happened?”

“Well, I spent a night and a half trying to get the tablet so I could use it to open the gate and summon an army of the undead,” Kahmunrah said.

“That’s…these fellas here?” Talia asked, pointing to one of the birdmen.

“Yes.”

“Then Larry shows up and tries to stop you?”

“Yes. Several times.”

“Of course,” Amelia said. “It’s only natural.”

Talia nodded, and her phone buzzed in her pocket. “One sec,” she said, fishing it out. “Hello?” she asked.

“Talia! Are you alright?”

“Gramps.” She turned and started walking to a somewhat more secluded area of the room. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just…”

“I saw what happened.”

“You mean the light?”

“Well, yeah. Listen, do you need me to get over there?”

“No, gramps, no, no need. Just…Brunden and I are here, we’ve got this. We’re getting everything under control.”

“Are you sure? You can always call if you need anything.”

“I will, gramps, don’t worry.”

“OK. Be brave, kiddo.”

“Like I’m not.” She smirked a little. “Stay safe, OK?”

“OK.”

Talia hung up and turned back to the exhibits and Brunden. “Sorry about that. That was the old guy. Call yours, by the way,” she said, snapping and pointing to Brunden. “He’ll need to know you’re still upright.” Brunden nodded and retreated to an alcove.

“Do you work here?” Amelia asked.

“Yeah, usually. It’s my night off but lo and behold.” Talia gestured to the scene around them. She held out her hand to Amelia. “Talia Fredericks.” They shook hands, and she indicated the man she showed up with. “That’s Brunden Lasseter.”

“Don’t you hopscotch me, old man!” Brunden yelled suddenly, and everyone looked at him. “I’m still kickin’, don’t show up.”

“He sounds…interesting,” Amelia said, looking at Talia again.

“He’s a lot more with it in real life,” Talia replied. “It’s been an interesting twenty-four hours.”

“Oh, you’re telling us.”

Larry mumbled, but did not wake, and Talia walked over to the tablet and squatted down to examine it. “ _Hotep di nisu Amun-Ra, nisu netjeru, neb ma’a…_ ” The tablet glowed just a little more brightly.

“You can read Egyptian?” Kahmunrah asked. “Where was this an hour ago?”

“You can’t?” Talia asked, standing and facing him.

“I don’t. Reading is fantastically boring and I had someone to do it for me.”

“I feel bad for them already.”

“It was actually a good position, I paid them well.”

“They also had to tell you what you wanted to hear most of the time or face execution.”

Kahmunrah met her with a level gaze. “So?” Talia said nothing, looking instead at Larry and Brunden.

“How is he?” Talia asked.

“Well, mostly OK. Which is weird since I think he’s supposed to be dead,” Brunden replied.

“OK, wait for him to wake up, see how he is then.”

“What do we do in the mean time?”

“I have no idea.”


	4. Chapter Four

“So what’s the deal with your brother?” Nicky asked as he and Ahkmenrah walked back to his father’s apartment.

“…Excuse me?” Ahkmenrah replied.

“When Jed called from the Smithsonian he said your big brother was attacking.”

Ahkmenrah nodded with a small “Oh.” “Wait, how did he dial the phone?” Nick shrugged. The pharaoh nodded and cleared his throat. “My brother and I have a very complicated relationship. There was a time we loved each other adamantly and nothing could get between us.”

“What happened?”

“Father named me the future king,” Ahkmenrah said simply. “Kahmunrah was simply enraged, but he spent two years in the desert taking it out on Egypt’s enemies before I was killed.”

“Did he kill you?”

“Yes, but it’s not quite what you think.”

“What do you mean?”

“To begin with he gave me two years, to live and to rule. Does that sound like someone who despised the fact that I was crowned ahead of him?"

"Well...doesn't it?" Nick asked. He'd seen people engage in worse.

For a long moment Ahkmenrah didn’t reply. Nicky nodded and looked down at his feet. “Nick,” the pharaoh said finally, “I need you to be brave, whatever happens.”

“What do you think’s gonna happen?”

“I don’t know.” Nick caught a flash of fear in Ahkmenrah’s gaze.

***

“Here, put these on,” Nick said, handing some of his father’s old casual wear to the pharaoh. Ahkmenrah studied them a moment.

“Why?” he couldn’t help but ask.

“So you can blend in. When Jed called he said your brother was attacking. What if he notices you and comes after you again?”

“Good point.” He took the clothes and disappeared into the bathroom of the apartment. Nick watched him for a moment before turning to the door. He couldn’t well afford to have anyone coming by asking why a strangely dressed man had disappeared into the apartment. There were some questions he was unwilling and unable to answer.

Ahkmenrah emerged a few minutes later, almost drowning in Larry’s old college sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. “What do you think?” he asked, holding his hands out to his sides.

“Perfect!” Nicky said with a smile, which fell relatively quickly as a thought hit him. “What happens when the sun comes up? Don’t you turn to dust?”

“Not this time,” Ahkmenrah replied. “I can feel it. This is an entirely different ball game.”

Nicky nodded. “OK,” he said. “Let’s go. We can take a bus—”

“That’ll take too long.”

“How do I get you on a plane? You don’t have ID.”

“Cargo hold.”

At first Nicky frowned, but then he grinned as he realized what Ahkmenrah was getting at. “I need to call McPhee,” he said.


	5. Chapter Five

Brunden watched the man stir into full wakefulness about fifteen minutes later, groaning and pulling his hands up to his head as he rolled over onto his side. “Hey, welcome back. You OK?” he asked.

The man nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I think so, I can still feel all my…all my body parts. Which is really a step up from nearly dying, so…” He grunted softly and moved to sit up, and Brunden reached out to help him to his feet. The man nodded to him.

“Hey, I never caught your name.”

“Larry, Larry Daley.” They shook hands. “Nice to meet you. Officially, I mean.”

“Yeah, same.”

He turned to Talia. “Talia,” she said, also shaking his hand. “I’m usually the night staff but it’s probably better that I was off today, all things considered.”

“Yeah, how’s that?” Larry asked.

“Because then I’d get blamed for this chicanery.” She thumbed the tablet and Kahmunrah.

“Oh, Kahmunrah. The Bloodthirsty, who kills whoever—”

“Destroyer,” Talia cut in.

“Excuse me?”

“Kahmunrah’s epithets are many, and two have been translated into ‘Bloodthirsty’, which gets a bit confusing, because one of them only actually means ‘Bloodthirsty’. He gained _Kahmunrah Ibi Deshru_ in his teens when sent on an alleged suicide mission into the desert, where he instead said ‘screw it’, and proceeded to own everyone. The second, which I guess is what he was referring to when he ranted to you, _Kahmunrah Shatmu_ , is a lot more accurately rendered as ‘Kahmunrah the Destroyer’.”

“Oh…”

“I honestly can’t tell the difference,” Kahmunrah said.

“How can you not…tell the difference?”

“He can’t read,” Talia said.

“No, I choose not to, as I previously stated. Reading is exceptionally boring.”

“OK in your defense, I’m sure all the stuff you had to read as king really did suck to go through, but really?” Brunden asked. “Isn’t not being lied to more important?”

“Thank you, Brunden,” Talia said. “So…the light?” she asked, looking at Larry.

“Yeah, the…the tablet did that on its own.” Talia nodded. “You’re not…surprised at all?”

“I’m a Fredericks,” she said with a wink and a smile that suggested her grandfather. Larry could only nod. Talia nodded in response. “OK. Brunden, call the director and the board and tell them you showed up to a freak accident but we’re gonna clean it up. If they ask for details make something up or hang up the phone.” He nodded and turned to go to the break room, where the employee use landline was located. She turned to Larry and the exhibits. “We need to do damage control. A ton of it. Larry, Amelia, could you help me account for the exhibits and get them back inside if necessary?”

“Of course,” Amelia said.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Thanks.”

“…Perhaps I shouldn’t have tied up the other guards,” Kahmuranh said, and Talia stopped suddenly and walked over to him.

“What?” she asked, her voice barely audible.

“They were running about and causing trouble so I dealt with them.” Talia decked him again.

She turned to Brunden, mumbling, “C’mon, let’s go.” He nodded, walking with her out of the room and fishing out his phone.


	6. Chapter Six

McPhee stared at Nicky and the young man in front of him. “S-so let…let me get this straight,” he said slowly, as he couldn’t believe it the first time he’d heard it. “You’re saying that the golden tablet which is usually in your display,” he gestured to Ahkmenrah (who had to verify such through fluent Egyptian), “was stolen by Dexter the monkey from African Mammals, because the tablet can bring everything to life and he’s a kleptomaniac?”

“And now my brother is awake and attacking,” Ahkmenrah added.

“Oh I’d believe it. The part I’m stuck on is the tablet having magical powers.”

“Help us get to the Smithsonian and we’ll show you.”

“How do you plan to do that?”

“That’s where you come in,” Nicky said. “See, we were thinking if we could smuggle Ahkmenrah in as a last-minute pack-up…”

“Then I could let you two in and also figure out why I, and not any of the other exhibits in the Natural History Museum, are awake,” Ahkmenrah finished.

“…What’s with the get-up?” McPhee asked, gesturing. “Aren’t you supposed to look more…”

“Pharaonic?” they finished at the same time. “I did it so that my brother wouldn’t immediately notice me and kill on sight,” Ahkmenrah answered. McPhee nodded with a small “Oh.”

“I know you…probably don’t particularly care for it, but…” McPhee tilted his head. “I’m gonna need you to get back in your case.” Ahkmenrah nodded obligingly.

Within the hour, Ahkmenrah was being loaded onto a plane, and McPhee was negotiating tickets. Nicky explained to the teller that he was tagging along for school credit, and she nodded as if accepting this, or it was too early in the morning or late in her shift to question such things. The terminal was sparsely populated, and Nicky and McPhee sat across from one another. McPhee twiddled his thumbs and looked around. Nicky couldn’t help but bite his lip, worrying about how Ahkmenrah was faring in the cargo hold of the plane. He hoped he’d passed as a believable mummy and someone didn’t bother to check that there was an actual person hiding in a case.

The call to board came what seemed like an eternity later, and McPhee sighed as he stood. Nick didn’t, but he didn’t bound up excitedly, either. He had no idea what exhibit-related hell was waiting for them at the end of their flight, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out. He sank into his seat silently, praying to whatever god was watching over them that Ahkmenrah was on the same flight and wouldn’t get lost. Would that god hear? He had no idea.


	7. Chapter Seven

“No, I don’t know what happened. Talia and I are cleaning up the mess. No, we don’t need any extra help. We’ve got everything under control, don’t worry. Yes, everything’s fine. Just we can’t have anybody showing up yet until everything’s cleaned up, OK?” After several more moments of this Brunden sighed and flipped his phone closed.

“A-plus,” Talia said with a smile.

“I hate talking to those people,” he replied, sliding his phone back into his jeans pocket.

“Don’t we all?”

“Yeah, our jobs would be a lot easier if we could just…do them.”

Talia laughed. “You can be on night shift, if you want.”

“No way. I am not a night person.”

“Not even for magic?”

“Nope. Not even for God Himself.”

“Good point.”

She smiled, and scanned the modern art section briefly. “There’s a balloon dog on the ceiling,” Brunden said, pointing upward and gaping slightly. Talia looked up.

“There is indeed a balloon dog on the ceiling.” She spotted a bronze statue she didn’t immediately recognize, but said, “Excuse me, sir! Can you help us with the balloon dog?”

“Yeah, sure,” the statue replied, and he reached up and pulled it down with ease.

“Thanks.” Brunden stared at her. “Yeah, things are coming to life.”

“The Thinker just got the Koonz balloon dog from the ceiling.”

“You get used to it.”

“No, you don’t!”

“Yeah, actually, you do.” She continued on without looking to him, but gave a polite nod to the Degas ballerina. He jogged to catch up with her, leading them right into the wing of paintings.

“How’re we gonna explain this?”

“No idea.”

“You know they’re gonna ask.”

“Of course they are. We can’t exactly say they’re forgeries that fell apart, can we. That sounds made up even for me.”

“You are absolutely no help whatsoever.”

Talia stopped and wheeled on him. “Well I’m doing my best!” she snapped. “Not like I can say the same for you if you have to be dragged along every step of the way. I’m doing what I learned from Gramps, and honestly if you’re not willing to help me out, then go the hell home.”

Brunden gaped at her for several long moments. “I’m not allowed to think all this shit is weird?”

“You are, but don’t go pointing it out every five minutes because that shit gets old.” He nodded, and Talia nodded curtly in response before turning around and continuing to weave through the building.

***

Nick and Dr. McPhee followed Ahkmenrah’s case as workmen moved it into a service elevator and lowered it into the archives. Nick in particular noticed they got off at B level, and the men set the case down gently, in part due to McPhee’s fussing over how ancient the mummy was, to the floor before leaving quietly. Left alone with Ahkmenrah’s coffin, McPhee and Nick both got their hands under the stone lid and hefted, grunting and groaning as they moved it off to the side. Nick slipped the pins out of their places, and Ahkmenrah pushed his sarcophagus lid aside and took a deep breath. “Thank you,” he gasped, as Nick and McPhee helped him to his feet. Ahkmenrah looked around a little. “So, these are the archives?”

“Yeah,” Nick replied. “They’re huge.”

“Luckily the tablet only has a limited range. If everything came to life at once that would be a disaster.”

“Really?” McPhee asked softly, and Nicky nodded.

“Trust us,” he said.

“So, where’re we going?” Ahkmenrah asked.

“The other exhibits are around here somewhere,” Nick replied, leading them through the maze. “Looks like Dad got the lights.”

“How’d he get here?” McPhee asked.

“He broke in when we found out Dexter stole the tablet and the exhibits were in danger.”

“Does he always do things like that?”

“Not usually. Especially not since he started his own company.”

“And when he worked for me?”

“Lots of parties and pizza but nothing major.”

“Pizza,” McPhee said, looking up at the ceiling, dumbfounded. A pterodactyl soared overhead and cawed. “Is that…?”

“Yes,” Nicky and Ahkmenrah said at once. McPhee grinned and shook his head.

“This is unbelievable.”

“Like we said, magic,” Ahkmenrah said.

They rounded a corner, and Nick looked around. Some animals had escaped their crates and were wandering about, as they probably would have in life. Carefully they wove through the animals, keeping their eyes peeled for the big red trailer the exhibits had shipped out in. “There!” Nicky said after a moment, pointing. He ran up to the crate, followed by Ahkmenrah and McPhee at a brisk walk. Ahkmenrah rapped gently on the door, and was immediately met with a chorus of shuffling back, taking up arms, and yelling to the effect of “Stay back! Don’t come in here!”

“It’s me, Ahkmenrah,” he said. The exhibits shuffled again. “Permission to open the crate?”

Attila spoke first, giving an affirmative response. Ahkmenrah unbolted the doors and pulled them open. He was met with, among the usual crowd, an ordinary squirrel and a pompous-looking 1800’s general. Jedediah was missing, and Nick didn't want to think about it.

“If I may,” Octavius added. “How, exactly, did you get here?”

“We’re working on it,” Ahkmenrah replied. He looked at the general. “And you are?”

“General George A. Custer, at your service,” he said, holding out a hand to shake. Ahkmenrah stared.

“You’re not one of ours.”

“Your, ah, older brother captured me.” Ahkmenrah nodded.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

"Oh, ya know, ain't nothin' I couldn't handle,” Custer replied. The young pharaoh nodded again. “What’s goin on up there?”

“Is there any news from the outside world?” Octavius asked.

“The tablet did something weird,” Nicky replied. “There was a light.”

“I’m awake,” Ahkmenrah added with a shrug.

“Any of the others?”

Ahkmenrah shook his head. “Just you lot.”

Octavius nodded. “I see.”

“So, wait, that’s…not normal, correct?” McPhee asked.

“Yes,” Ahkmenrah replied. He nodded in understanding.

“And...does he know?" Octavius asked, gesturing somewhat nervously toward McPhee.

“We didn’t have a choice,” Nicky replied. “There was no other way to get here.”

“I don’t have papers,” Ahkmenrah said. “Not ones that are valid for a living person, at least. So we had to sell me as a last-minute pack-up for unexpected space concerns and…” He shrugged. “Here we are.”

“How did that work?” Octavius asked. “Aren’t there a multitude of regulations?”

“Yes,” Ahkmenrah and McPhee said at once. 

“How’d you…?”

“No idea,” McPhee replied, shaking his head a little.

“So what do we do now?” Nick asked.

“Larry’s still up there, somewhere,” Octavius replied.

Ahkmenrah nodded. “Let’s find him. Nick, lead the way.”


	8. Chapter Eight

Ahkmenrah rested a hand on Nick’s shoulder, effectively calling the whole group to a halt just inside the corridor. He spotted his brother, perched on an armchair he set up on a pile of treasures gathered from throughout the collection, and for a moment pitied the people who would have to clean all that up. “Wait here,” he whispered. “I’ll go in first.”

Nick looked up at him. “Why?”

“He’s my brother. I have a shot at reasoning with him. But if he kills me again you lot have a chance to run.”

“What?” McPhee asked. Nick and Ahkmenrah both shushed him. Still, it appeared Kahmunrah didn’t notice them.

Ahkmenrah took a deep breath and walked into the room, and Kahmunrah looked up at him. Ahkmenrah bowed his head to his brother.

***

Kahmunrah straightened. Ahkmenrah had clearly dressed to hide in a modern world, far as he could tell from the guards he’d met already, but it was undeniably him, right down to the eyes. He stood and stepped off the pile of treasure, taking a few steps toward his brother. They watched each other for several moments, and Ahkmenrah gently bit his lower lip. Kahmunrah reached out halfway before hesitating and lowering his hand again. If this was a dream, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

***

Ahkmenrah watched Kahmunrah’s expression shift through surprise and confusion, even hesitancy. His mouth opened ever so slightly as he studied the man in front of him, eyes occasionally flitting over the scattered goods of various sorts before landing noticeably on the tablet. Kahmunrah flashed him a slight shrug before rolling his head slightly. It seemed to bounce slightly on his shoulders, and Ahkmenrah wondered if it was the crown. He pursed his lips slightly as he regarded Kahmunrah, and Kahmunrah frowned in response. Ahkmenrah closed his eyes and sighed ever so slightly, before holding his hand out to Kahmunrah. Kahmunrah stared at him, frowning and scrunching his eyebrows as if to say, “What?”

Ahkmenrah shrugged. “It was worth a try, I suppose,” he said.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Kahmunrah asked.

“I woke up loudly and in pain and needed to see what the fuss was. Your presence explains a lot, Brother dear.” Ahkmenrah turned and walked slowly, stopping in front of the tablet and circling around it for a fraction of a pace before following the column of light upward into the sky. He turned and looked at the Gate of Kahmunrah, taking a few steps toward it and reaching out to gently stroke the face of the figure on the door. “Don’t you have anything to boast about?” he finally asked, turning to face his brother.

“Sorry?” Kahmunrah asked.

Ahkmenrah shrugged, as if it were nothing. “Oh, I mean, you got my tablet, with your gate…you think I didn’t know about the door to the underworld? You couldn’t possibly pass up the opportunity, could you? You, what, set out to remake Egypt so you could rule over it?”

“Actually, I was going to conquer the world.”

“So the rest of us are a consolation prize?” Kahmunrah shrugged but said nothing. “Did you ever want me awake?”

“Eventually. I thought briefly about keeping you prisoner.”

“I believe you. You didn’t kill me the first time out of jealous rage, either. Why should I think you’d kill me a second?”

“H-how…wh-why…”

Ahkmenrah held up a hand to stop him. “I can only imagine what it was for you. All your life everyone we talked to referred to you as the crown prince, and like a rug it was pulled out from under you.”

“Were…were you coming alive at night this whole time?”

The younger nodded. “For about four thousand years. I had plenty of time to think, staring at the walls of my own tomb. For the first hundred or so years I thought about you killing me, trying to work out exactly how I felt about that. I finally settled on, not terrible, though there should’ve been another way. Besides, I figured your reasons had a lot more to them than the coronation, given you let me live for two years afterward.”

Kahmunrah frowned and advanced slowly on Ahkmenrah, who held his ground. “Well that may be, Baby Brother, but it doesn’t change the fact that you were the favorite son, and that our parents clearly loved you more than they ever wanted anything to do with me.”

“Why? Because Father didn’t lash me? You think the lack of physical violence equals love?” Kahmunrah paused in his advance, slowly lowering his hand while the anger bled from his face. Ahkmenrah pursed his lips again and looked away, back toward the Gate. “Did you know what you were doing?” he asked. “When you opened the gate. Did you know any of this would happen?”

“No, not…not in this order.”

“Tell me what happened.”

Kahmunrah sighed and looked at the floor. “Well, I’d just gotten the new combination from…associates and opened the door, summoning my army of the damned to conquer the world, when Larry got the arguably stupid idea to start fighting.” Ahkmenrah scrunched his eyebrows. “That night guard of yours was a valiant opponent, I must admit, but, in the end, no match for me. Unfortunately, before I could kill him, the tablet glowed.” Ahkmenrah’s expression hardened as his brother spoke. “It’s…like it never even happened, Larry’s up walking about…”

“Not. One. Word. About Larry Daley,” Ahkmenrah said darkly. Kahmunrah blanched slightly, widening his eyes at his brother. Ahkmenrah nodded after a moment, accepting this as a valid response, and turned to look around some more when a sound caught his attention. He looked over as a woman hopped over the edges of the broken window, following Larry as he walked briskly into the room.

“OK. Everyone’s inside and…oh, hey, Ahk. What…are you doing here?” he said. Then, over his shoulder, he spotted Kahmunrah. Larry rushed forward to step between the two, but Ahkmenrah stepped in front of him, stopping him firmly with a hand on his chest. Larry nodded slightly and stepped back just a hair. “He—”

“I know, Larry. We’re…” He glanced over his shoulder. “We’re kind of at an impasse right now.”

“Oh, I…yeah.”

“Well, you _are_ popular, Mr. Daley,” Amelia said coyly, looking at Ahkmenrah’s hand before meeting his eyes. Ahkmenrah cleared his throat and looked away, removing his hand. He glanced at Kahmunrah, smirking at the sight, and blushed deeply. _Just what I need right now,_ he couldn’t help but think.

“OK, that’s the…wow…” Talia said, as she and Brunden stopped short. “Where’d you come from?”

“New York,” Ahkmenrah replied. “Most recently, at least.”

Talia glanced at Larry. “Oh. This is Ahkmenrah. Ahkmenrah, Talia.” Ahkmenrah nodded to her, and she nodded back.

“And also…Brunden,” Talia said, gesturing to her companion. Brunden waved. Ahkmenrah nodded again.

“Everything’s good?” Larry asked.

“Yeah, everything’s cool,” Brunden replied.

Talia glanced at the window. “Sunrise already?”

“The rules have changed,” Ahkmenrah explained. “For one under normal conditions I shouldn’t be here.”

“So you were summoned?”

“Possibly.” He glanced over his shoulder at his brother, who gave a hard look but didn’t say anything. Ahkmenrah sighed a little and said, in Egyptian, “It’s nothing to do with you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Well I was going to do it later, but apparently the gods had other ideas. They must love you, too,” Kahmunrah shot back. Ahkmenrah rolled his eyes a little.

“…Should we go?” Talia asked, gesturing to the hallway.

“No, no, it’s fine. Right?” Larry said, looking to Ahkmenrah for support. Ahkmenrah frowned for a moment before shrugging and nodding. Kahmunrah folded his arms across his chest and muttered something under his breath, scoffing at Larry.

Talia noticed. She took a deep breath and walked up to him. “You keep being like that I’ll slug you again.” He looked at her.

“You’re fond of that, aren’t you,” Kahmunrah said.

“Only when necessary.” Talia cocked her head toward one of the hallways. “C’mon, big guy. Let’s go talk.”

“Why?”

“Well, you could sit here and glare at your brother for however long, or you can go let some shit out. Besides, I…owe it to you after talking your waxy ears off for three and a half years.” Talia blushed and smiled a little. Kahmunrah said nothing. “So…you coming?”

“Do I have a choice?”

She shrugged. “Well, yeah. Of course you do.”

He paused, and then sighed a little. “Alright,” he finally said. “I’ll probably start talking about myself eventually anyway.” Talia smiled.


	9. Chapter Nine

“My parents, Merenkahre and Shepseheret are their names…” Kahmunrah shrugged, as they wove through the corridors idly. “I never could figure it out, but I was universally reviled and Ahkmenrah was the one they loved more than anything in the whole world.”

“Were there only two of you?” Talia asked.

“We were the only two that mattered, really. We were the only two sons of Father’s favorite wife.”

“But he loved your kid brother so much he went against tradition and, some would argue, the gods themselves in order to give the throne to him.” Kahmunrah nodded.

“Have you ever thought about how Ahkmenrah must’ve felt about this?” He looked at her. “I’m serious. The kid looks like he can’t be more than seventeen, and from what I could tell he ruled for two years before he died. When I was fifteen I barely knew what I wanted for dinner half the time. It’s like if I was elected president of the United States at that age. I, personally, would feel like I had no idea what I’m doing, I’d be such a fish out of water.”

“He was trained. While we both were, somewhat more attention was paid to his education than to mine.”

Talia nodded. That must’ve been the reading thing. “What’d they do to you? Send you off to the army?”

“That came later.”

“After what?”

Kahmunrah looked at one of the crossbeams in the ceiling and swallowed, pursing his lips slightly. “After an absolute hell of a week where I was woken up every night and dragged into Father’s room to be lashed against a column.” Talia flinched a little. “Didn’t know that, did you.”

“I did. The story survives in a personal work by a contemporaneous priest. It’s just…different hearing it from the horse’s mouth.”

“…Oh.”

“I heard, when they did tests on your body, they found the scar tissue still intact. Your back is some kind of gnarly checkerboard.”

“Really?” Talia nodded. “What’s a checkerboard?”

“It’s like for a game we have these days. Chess and checkers are both played on the board, but with radically different rules. It looks like this floor here.”

“Oh. I see.”

“Yeah. So, tell me about your brother. Everyone said you killed him.”

“Well I did.”

“Why?”

“For the throne. For revenge against our father. I knew when he’d learned of it, it would kill him all over again. And in a rage he would demand the gods turn on me.”

“Sounds like dangerous water to be in.”

Kahmunrah shook his head. “I learned from an early age never to trust the gods. Sometimes a sandstorm is…just a sandstorm. And what could Father do to me by that point, living or dead? I had a dozen other scars from a dozen other battles.” He shrugged. “I could take anything, at that point, and I did. I was ruthless to my enemies.”

Talia nodded. “Dendera, Abydos, and dozens of locations all over the desert. You were just as likely to meet advancing armies in the middle as not. You were ruthless in battle and in the opinions of dozens of respected scholars one of the greatest, if not the greatest, tacticians Egypt ever produced.”

“Really?” he asked, stopping and looking at her. Talia faced him, her expression open.

“Really. There’s a reason you’re called Defender of the Holy Tomb of Osiris, Scourge to his Foes, and yes, even Kahmunrah the Bloodthirsty. I would argue it’s also part of why you chose the name you did, Ma’athotep. Ma’at is at peace. Figuring out that little chestnut got me published.”

“Oh?”

“It was a letter to the editor but still, the top minds in the field took notice, and Carter can take that to the bank, as far as I’m concerned.”

“Carter?”

“Carter Jameson. He’s a docent here. Thinks I’m a ‘silly woman’ who doesn’t know anything and isn’t worth his time, unless he’s horny.”

“He sounds charming.”

She laughed a little. “I know, right?”

“This is amusing?”

“When he starts breaking into the apartment then we’ll have a different story to tell, but he hasn’t yet.”

“You expect he will?”

“I’m not an idiot. Which is why I’m fully prepared to kill him if necessary.”

“Good plan.”

“Thank you.” She shrugged out of her jacket, and he glanced at the crisp line of hieroglyphs partially exposed by the cut of her shirt. “So, tell me something else,” she said, bringing his attention back to what she was saying. “What was it like for the two of you before…say…learning the throne would go to kid brother over there who’s barely old enough to flip burgers or drive?”

“We were close,” Kahmunrah admitted. “I think that was the hardest part…” He swallowed. “We did everything together, I taught him to swim and to fight, we even…” Here he gave a dry, crushingly sad chuckle. “We used to walk around at all the big ancient temples and make up stories based on the scenes on the walls. He liked to play the big scary monster. Bear in mind he was four years old, so he wasn’t very intimidating.” Talia watched a small tear roll down his cheek, but said nothing on the matter. He appeared not to notice. “He’s also deathly afraid of snakes. I’ve had to kill a couple of the poisonous ones who got too close. I got struck once for spearing one into the palace floor, ‘interrupting’ whatever it was that Father was doing.” Kahmunrah broke into a grin. “It was worth it.”

Talia almost smiled in response, though nothing could mask the sheen in her eyes. “So when it came out that your brother was gonna get the throne, that’s when you started hating him?”

“Like I said, I could never work it out.”

“In your defense, it’s unusual as hell. What’d they used to say back in ye olden times in England or whatever? ‘Highly Irregular’. Honestly? I’d be confused too.”

“Would you?”

“Yeah. I mean think about it. Literal ages of tradition are telling you that you’re gonna be king one day, everything’s gonna go smoothly, you’re gonna kick tons of enemy ass, and then…” She shrugged. “Gone. Just like that. The going theory for a long time has been that you hated your brother, but I don’t think that’s true. I think it’s a lot of confusion, misdirected rage, and the wrong person getting it in his head that he’s a god on Earth to do his will as he pleases. Evidently nobody told him that’s not how Ma’at works.” Kahmunrah stared. “I don’t think you hate your brother at all. I don’t think you ever have. You just happened to be born in a tornado of disaster that you didn’t ask for, and it took its toll by force.”

“…H-how did you know?” he asked after several moments of silence.

“Personal experience,” she replied softly. “Different set of circumstances, of course.”

“Of course. Though, um…if you don’t mind my asking…”

“My mother married six times, and had a new man around at least once a week. I don’t know who my biological father was, and one of my stepfathers…” Talia fell silent. “He thought he had…certain rights. And since Mom was checked out the whole time it was pretty easy for Gramps to get me out of the house.”

“I see.”

She cocked her head back the way they’d come. “Let’s go,” she said. “And do me one favor. Talk to your brother. Not whatever it was I saw earlier. Talk to him like you did to me. Get on the same page.” Kahmunrah said nothing; his throat went dry. “No promises? Well then just try, OK? That’s the best you can do.”

“What does it say?”

“Hm?”

“On your back. What does that say?”

“It says ‘Your fear is the greatest tool at your disposal.’ I got that from your Instructions.” Kahmunrah nodded. She turned and walked back down the hallway, and after several moments he followed her.


	10. Chapter Ten

“How’d it go?” Larry asked when Talia and Kahmunrah returned.

“Interesting,” Talia replied after a moment. “I heard about how you brought the exhibits together from Gramps and thought…” She shrugged. “How’d I do?”

“I dunno.” He looked at Kahmunrah. “How you feeling?” Kahmunrah offered a deep sigh as a response, and Ahkmenrah walked up to him.

“What came up?” he asked in their native tongue.

“You, us,” he replied softly.

“Father?”

“Naturally. She thinks we should talk.”

“You rest first.” Ahkmenrah turned to Brunden. “Where’s the break room?” he asked in English.

“Uh, down that hallway and to the left,” Brunden replied.

Ahkmenrah nodded to his brother. “Go on. If this is anything like New York there’s bound to be one of two things, at least: coffee and liquor.” Kahmunrah nodded and turned to leave, and Ahkmenrah clapped him gently on the shoulder.

“Wait, didn’t he, like, kill you in a past life or something?”

“Past…life?” Ahkmenrah asked. He caught Talia shaking her head. “And yes, he did, but it’s a lot more complicated than people seem to think.” He turned to Larry. “What did he tell you?”

Larry shrugged. “You’re the favorite kid, you got everything you wanted, even the throne…he was really bitter about that, or he sounded that way.”

Ahkmenrah nodded, his lips pursed lightly. “Well I can tell you right now that 90% of ‘everything I wanted’ was hush money. I knew what happened to him, everyone did, except Father must’ve suspected or known that I can’t be frightened into silence. And to tell you the truth, Larry, bribery doesn’t always work when you can pray to the gods.”

“I’m…really sorry for the way this is gonna sound, but…what happened exactly?” Larry asked.

“For one there was a whole week to ten days where Kahmunrah was dragged into his father’s chambers and whipped until his skin peeled off,” Talia whispered to him.

“Oh. That…that explains a lot.” Talia nodded, and Larry reciprocated to show understanding. He nodded to Ahkmenrah, to demonstrate that the issue had been resolved, for the most part. “Still he…also tried to kill me several times and take over the world and…nearly killed Jed. With an hourglass.”

“Is he alright?” Ahkmenrah asked.

“Yeah, I’m here.” Everyone present looked at the small pile of sand, where a tiny little cowboy was just sitting up and dusting off his arms. “I was jus’ out for a bit.” Larry walked over to the pile of sand and shattered remains of hourglass, his heart clenching in his chest that he’d forgotten about it this whole time, and bent down, holding his hand out to Jed. “Thanks, Gigantor.” Jed pulled himself into Larry’s palm and dusted off the rest of himself. Larry walked him over to the others, careful to keep his hand steady.

“A bit?” Brunden couldn’t help but ask. “It’s been two hours.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. No strenuous activity,” Larry replied. “And don’t do anything stupid and hit your head again.”

“What’re you gonna do about it?”

“Nothing. That’s what brain damage is for.”

“Larry, he’s plastic,” Ahkmenrah pointed out.

“Better safe than sorry.”

“Teddy getting bisected?”

“What?” Talia asked.

“The Teddy Roosevelt wax statue got in the way of a stagecoach. Not good news, apparently,” Larry said.

“Wow. I should stop by at night more often.”

“Why don’t you?” Ahkmenrah asked.

She shrugged. “For the longest time I thought it was all made up, or that Cecil was secretly pitching a book or something. Then a couple friends of mine and I broke in and snuck around, just for kicks. Rexy chased us off. They never brought the incident up, because then they’d be committed. After that I just…” She shrugged again.

“Didn’t go back, huh,” Larry said.

“Yeah.”

Ahkmenrah nodded. “Did…you destroy the hourglass?” he asked Larry, who nodded. “And that, what?”

“I tried to run, and then your brother’s goons cornered me and your brother and I started fighting.” He turned around, revealing the tear in the fabric on his shirt. “It was pretty bad too. I thought I was gonna die, there was blood everywhere.”

“Then you landed about there,” Ahkmenrah pointed to the tablet, “presumably nearly did die, and the tablet not only saved your life, but made it like it never even happened.”

“How’d you know?”

“Kureh told me.”

“Your brother?” Amelia asked, speaking for the first time in quite a while. Nearly everyone suspected she was listening and learning avidly, rather than letting her mind wander elsewhere. Ahkmenrah nodded. “So there’s…a little more to this whole situation than we’ve been led to believe, correct?”

“Well, yes.”

“Now that we’re up to speed,” Talia said. “Any idea what?”

“There’s a story in Egypt. Well, I use that word loosely. Isis was ambitious and wanted her husband on the throne of Egypt, so she tricked Ra—”

“ _Oh!_ ” Talia shouted, snapping her fingers and tilting her head back slightly before charging forward toward the gate. “The Enigma of the Text on the Gate of Kahmunrah!” she said suddenly, turning to face the group. “It’s been translated a dozen times but nobody can make heads or tails of it!”

“Is she OK?” Ahkmenrah whispered to Brunden and Larry.

“Why’re you asking me?” Brunden asked.

“You seem to be friends, is all.”

“Oh.”

“OK, what?” Larry asked, so she could hear.

Talia walked closer toward them as she spoke. “Scholars have studied this thing for almost _three generations_! _Six_ different classes of Egyptology and Archaeology students are working on it, _right now_. There’s been talk of…mistranslations and misunderstandings and maybe this isn’t in Middle Egyptian after all, no matter what it looks like. It’s…it’s like…the Oracle of Delphi vomited forth something to carve on a block of stone, and people… _did_! No questions asked.”

“Can you…start from the beginning?” Ahkmenrah asked. Talia grabbed him by the elbow and pulled him around the gate to the back, pointing up at the direct center.

“Apologies, Pharaoh. And the beginning is there.”

Ahkmenrah scanned a few of the lines on one side of the Gate. “I must’ve seen this thing dozens of times and I never saw…” he said softly, with awe.

“Can you make sense of it?”

“Sadly, no. Not yet, at least.”

“Why would the Egyptians make something that makes no sense?”

“They wouldn’t. There’s a piece missing.”

“You mean the tablet?”

“No…something else. The text itself is sensical, but you’re right. It’s like an oracle just…spouted it off to be carved as is. It’s a prophecy.”

“Is it coming true?”

“No idea.” He turned and walked back around the gate, approaching the tablet and kneeling down next to it. He reached out a hand to touch it.

***

Meanwhile, Kahmunrah sat in the break room with a piping hot mug of coffee and watching something on the news about a ball of golden light in the middle of the ocean somewhere near Australia. He was pleased for the distraction from all the thoughts and feelings and memories brought up in his discussion with Talia the off-duty night guard, and honestly curious by the sight. He wondered if it had anything to do with the tablet and what it had been up to lately.

He sipped from the mug and sighed a little, considering the image on the screen and not paying attention to what the anchors were saying. They were mostly saying inaccurate nonsense and speculating wildly, anyway, so he wouldn’t gain anything by listening to them. He did, however, gather that a fishing boat had caught the image and stopped its work to keep recording. For a moment he wondered how he would’ve reacted to similar news as king, but he didn’t stop for the answer.

As he watched, the orb collapsed into a line and shot into the ocean, setting off a massive wave rushing in all possible directions at once. Kahmunrah sat up then and stared. The fishing boat was most assuredly doomed, but he was weirdly invested in its fate. The wave pitched the boat upwards, and nearly capsized it, but by some miracle the vessel was returned, soaked, to its upright position resting on the surface of the water. There was a lot of commotion on both ends, as well as some praising God, but by then Kahmunrah had already stood, mug half-forgotten in his hand, and marched out of the break room.

Ahkmenrah had just ducked away from the tablet, his hands in the air. He turned to face Kahmunrah, a look of terror in his eyes. Kahmunrah merely smirked. “We’re both screwing things up today, Brother,” he said in Egyptian as he sipped from the mug. Ahkmenrah dropped his hands and gave his brother an exasperated look.


	11. Chapter Eleven

Ahkmenrah had touched the tablet for the briefest of moments, and the column of light suddenly retreated into it, leaving behind a faint glow all through the tablet and no other sign that it had existed—as far as he knew, at least. He sustained that look for Kahmunrah before sighing and looking around at the others. They seemed to be recovering slowly, as if they had braced for something horrible to happen when Ahkmenrah touched the tablet. He looked at his brother questioningly, and Kahmunrah shrugged. “A place called Australia is in some trouble right now, but beyond that…” He sipped from his mug again. Ahkmenrah slapped a hand to his face. “What?”

“You’ve always been like this,” Ahkmenrah said, his tone snapping a little. “For you it’s always been Egypt, and everywhere else, and the latter was never important.”

Kahmunrah shrugged. “What?! Isn’t that how it works?”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious.”

“Stop. Talking.” Ahkmenrah pointed at his brother, emphasizing his point, and then sighed and looked around at nothing in particular. “How about you go catch the others up,” he said to Larry in English. Larry nodded and immediately went to the other exhibits, a look of relief on his face. Amelia glanced at Ahkmenrah and Kahmunrah, and at Talia and Brunden, before choosing to follow Larry instead.

“What was that about?” she asked in hushed tones.

“They’re kind of…well…Kahmunrah killed his younger brother,” Larry replied.

“Oh.”

“So yeah, it’s kind of awkward that they’re in the same room together. Ordinarily I wouldn’t leave but…”

“So you don’t want to deal with it.”

“No, not really.”

“Why not?”

Larry turned to face her. “Because I can’t fix everything, alright? I don’t think anyone can fix…that.” He gestured to the room. “Yes, I know, Talia tried, but…” he sighed. “Maybe some things are just unfixable.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I’m not taking any chances. For all I know I could make it worse.”

“And how do you know that, Mr. Daley?”

“Well, for starters, I’m not exactly every exhibit’s favorite person right now. I left the museum and I haven’t been back much in two years, and I’m probably the reason they all got shipped out and this whole thing is happening to begin with. Because I…I wasn’t there for them.”

“You’re here now, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I mean, I am, but that’s in part because I felt guilty. That they needed my help sealed the deal, really.”

“And what of your deal this morning?”

“It can wait until we get this all sorted out. I’ll probably be met with a lawsuit, but…” Larry shrugged. She frowned at him, confused. “Wal-Mart isn’t gonna be too happy I’m not there for the deal, even though I insisted it was such a big deal.”

She shrugged. “Things change.”

“Yeah, the raised-from-the-dead pharaoh guy trying to kill me and the tablet acting weird among them.”

“It’s not been too much trouble so far.”

“Yeah, but you don’t get it. The tablet only works at night, no exceptions, until today.”

“What makes today any different?”

“I dunno.”

***

Talia watched as Ahkmenrah sighed a little and turned back to his brother, after Larry and Amelia left. Kahmunrah opened his mouth, ready to say something snarky, when Ahkmenrah shot him down. “What’re they saying?” Brunden whispered to her.

“I don’t know, I’ve never heard ancient Egyptian before,” she replied. “Listen to how they sound, though,” she added as Kahmunrah replied. “See that?”

“See what?”

Ahkmenrah met his brother’s remarks with something snippy of his own. “The vowel sounds. Kahmunrah’s used mostly ‘ah’ sounds so far, and his brother employs a lot more variation.”

“…OK what’s that mean?”

“Linguistically? It indicates dialect.” Kahmunrah was mid-rant by this point, shaking his head in a mocking fashion as if to sardonically imitate someone. “Dialect varies by region, and it’s well-known Kahmunrah spent a lot of his formative years in the desert with the army, where Ahkmenrah lived in Thebes his whole life.” Ahkmenrah snapped something in response to his brother, and Talia flinched a little. “Their life story is a little…complicated.”

“I can tell.”

Kahmunrah seemed unmoved by his brother’s comments, launching into another rant instead and even starting to circle him a little. Talia drew Brunden back. Ahkmenrah merely rolled his eyes and looked away in response, staring at the window with his arms across his chest. Kahmunrah yelled the same phrase two or three times, which Talia presumed must be something like ‘Look at me!’, but his brother didn’t respond.

“…What’s going on?” Brunden asked.

“They haven’t seen each other in four thousand years,” Talia replied. “It’s like the family reunion from hell.”

“Yes, that’s perfect, I’m keeping that,” Ahkmenrah said, snapping and pointing at Talia before switching back to Egyptian. Something like ‘Family reunion from hell, Brother. Did you hear that?’

Kahmunrah shot back, advancing on his brother. Talia frowned as she picked up words she was a little familiar with. “I’ll…kill you?” she asked herself. Between Kahmunrah getting closer and closer and Ahkmenrah’s blasé attitude, Talia was suddenly uneasy, and she rushed forward, planting herself between them and shoving Kahmunrah back. He gave her a surprised, furious look and charged again, and she braced and drove her fist into his stomach. He gasped and doubled over. Talia paused, trying to remember the exact phrase he used, before using it back to him.

“You speak Egyptian?” Ahkmenrah asked, frowning slightly at her.

She shook her head. “No. Oh, no. But I read it like a boss.”

“Oh. Thank you, by the way.”

She nodded. “I swore I told him to get on the same page with you.”

“It’s a little different when we’re in the same room.”

“I noticed.”

Ahkmenrah watched Kahmunrah over Talia’s shoulder, but Kahmunrah was glaring steadily at her. She stared him down, unmoved. Ahkmenrah spoke first, clearly addressing his brother. Only then did Kahmunrah look at him, and he asked something derisive, presumably about needing a woman to defend him. Talia turned her gaze skyward and sighed. “Welp, I tried,” she said softly. Ahkmenrah replied tersely to his brother’s comment, and Talia caught Larry’s name somewhere in there. She frowned a little but shook her head and walked back toward Brunden. “These two just might be hopeless,” she said in low tones to him.

“You…you sure?” Brunden asked.

“They sure as hell don’t seem willing to fix it.”


	12. Chapter Twelve

“OK, everyone’s up to speed,” Larry said, returning to Ahkmenrah and noticing that he and his brother were perched at opposite ends of the room, like dueling wild animals. “…Everything OK?”

“No,” Ahkmenrah said simply.

“Can…can I help?”

“I’m not sure you can, Larry.” Larry pursed his lips and nodded, glancing away slightly. Ahkmenrah looked at him steadily until Larry met his gaze again. “Why do you want to try? After everything my brother did to you I should think you’d be happy to be rid of him, any way you can.”

“He’s your brother, that…really isn’t my call to make.”

Ahkmenrah frowned. _Is he seriously doing this?_ he asked himself. _He cares_ now, _of all possible times to have given a fuck?_ He rolled his head and looked at Larry again. “You still don’t want him trying something stupid like taking over the world?” he asked, as if seeking confirmation.

“Of course not!” Ahkmenrah nodded. “Listen, I’m…I’m really sorry I left. Maybe if I stayed I could’ve stopped all this.”

The kid shook his head. “You don’t know the half of it.”

“OK?”

“I don’t want to tell you yet.”

“Oh. Fair.”

***

“Are you sure you don’t need us over there?” Cecil asked over the phone.

“No, we’re fine. The situation’s mostly under control,” Talia replied, walking into the apartment and dropping the keys in the dish on the low table. She was just going to pick up a few things, that’s what she told Brunden. Mostly she just wanted to walk, and to think, and to talk to her grandfather. The apartment was just an excuse. “We’re just trying to…fix it.”

“What, exactly?”

“The exhibits from last night are all up and about in the daytime, for one. For another, Ahkmenrah stopped by. He sounds different from his brother, by the way.”

“What?”

“In ancient Egyptian.”

“Oh.”

She grinned. “Yeah, it’s the weirdest, coolest thing ever. Actual, spoken ancient Egyptian.” She laughed a little. “It’s insane.” Talia reached the bathroom and reached over to switch on the water when she noticed something odd. The faucet was already dripping. Was it dripping this morning? She leaned in, studying the situation, and saw that the drain was…dissolving. Its shape had grown irregular, and there was little trace of the metal rim. She stepped back and squatted, opening the cabinet under the sink. The water left track marks on the pipe that allowed her to see through the whole thing, and there was a hole in the U bend that the water just fell through. It was working on a dent or puddle in the floor of the cabinet. “Hey, Gramps, what’s your tap look like?”

“’Scuse me?”

“Something’s up with the water, I’m not sure if that’s just my place or if it’s global.”

“I’m not sure I’m the person to ask.”

“You’re a great place to start.”

“Makes sense.” She heard some shuffling and waited, scrutinizing the damage the water caused. It wasn’t normal water damage, that was for sure. She watched the puddle, and found that it seemed to be…spreading, very gradually. The very edges of that ugly wallpaper she’d been meaning to replace for ages appeared to fall into the water. “Still there?” Cecil asked.

“Yeah,” Talia replied, half-distracted.

“I think you’re right about the water. The sink and bathtub drain are both shot to hell.”

“Any leaks?”

“ _Oh_ yeah.”

“OK, stay away from it. Something tells me you shouldn’t touch this water.”

“I’m already on the other side of the room. We’re on the same page on that, baby girl.”

“Good. Tell the others, OK?”

“Alright.”

Talia nodded and stood, staring at her reflection in the mirror before noticing something behind her. It was hard to miss, the more she stared at it and understood. The creature was ten feet tall and skinless, with twin chainsaws rising from its shoulders like the plumes of Amun. It reached for her with a hand full of circular saws, and she screamed and dove out of the way.

“Talia!” Cecil yelled.

“Still here,” she replied, as she stared up at the creature freed itself, shattering her mirror. She scrambled along the floor as it raised its arm again.

“Listen to me. Do you still have the duffel bag?”

“Course I do! Are you mad?!”

“Get to it! As soon as possible!”

Talia nodded and scrambled along the floor while the thing launched at the doorframe and scattered splinters of plywood and drywall everywhere. She hauled herself to her feet and swung around a table to get to the bedroom. She slammed the door shut behind her, though logically she figured that wouldn’t buy her much extra time, and hung up, throwing the phone onto the bed. The cacophony of saws to her left told her that her door wasn’t long for this world, but she was already in her closet by then. She balanced carefully on the floor of the closet and felt around for the strap to the duffel bag, latching on and pulling it off the shelf. Just as she stepped off the ledge and slung the bag on her shoulder, her door shattered, and the creature barged in.

She knew she didn’t have time to go rummaging through the bag, so she focused instead on the doorway. The creature lunged for her, and she sidestepped it and dashed through the remains of the frame, switching the shoulder strap to her other shoulder as she ran for the door and slammed it shut behind her. She didn’t dare lock it; the thing didn’t care about locks. Talia ran for the stairs, carefully ducking around water leaks from the ceiling, and all but tumbled her way down to the ground level and the street outside. She turned and looked up at the building, listening for any sign that the creature had followed her. It took all her willpower to tear her gaze away from the building and keep running.

She was sure the creature was following her, though somehow it escaped the notice of nearly everyone. She threw a glance over her shoulder, wondering if she could see it, or if it had disappeared completely and was waiting for the next chance to reappear and take her by surprise again. Did she want to take her chances? Did she have much of a choice? One hand reached for the zipper, and she fumbled around inside before pulling out a replica khopesh in a crude leather sheath. Not her best work, but it wasn’t her fault the sword’s natural shape was so awkward. She pulled the sword free and tossed the sheath back into the bag, forging on and shifting her grip on the sword so it settled more comfortably in her hand.

Just as she was beginning to suspect, as she barged into the castle the creature appeared again. Lovely. “Catch!” she yelled, throwing the bag as far down the corridor toward the gate as she could. It so happened that Ahkmenrah stumbled into the catch and took a couple of staggering steps back. Talia turned around and faced the thing, realizing she was going to look awfully stupid if she was the only one who could see it.

***

While his brother puzzled over the bag, Kahmunrah watched Talia wielding a familiar weapon. He was curious to see how she’d do, as he understood, in part through observation, that no one relied on _khopeshu_ anymore. He knew she was at an obvious disadvantage, given the size of the creature she was fighting, though it wouldn’t do to point that out. She was most surely already aware. The creature raised its hand to strike, and Talia blocked somewhat clumsily. She had a little more balance than he anticipated, but he chalked that up to the ridiculous shoes she seemed to have trained herself to wear through nearly anything. She also had the good sense to follow up with an attempt at a strike, though it was rather simplistic. This song and dance continued for several minutes, and Talia seemed shaky and somewhat uncoordinated. He sighed and walked over, kicking his own sword into his hand and marching forward. “Excuse me,” he said, “but you’re embarrassing yourself.” In a single fluid movement he sliced across the monster’s chest, and it dissolved into sand.

She nodded. “Thanks.”

“Look at me,” he said, pointing at her. “Never let them force you to circle. You stand your ground.” She nodded again, and he cocked his head down the hallway. “I’ll show you how it’s done.”

“What’s the deal with you and your brother?” she asked his back as he walked away.

“It’s not working out,” he replied simply.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Ahkmenrah finally set the duffel bag down and unzipped it. “Wow,” he said.

“What is it?” Larry asked, walking over and squatting in front of him, staring at the contents of the bag. It looked like a collection of half-finished leatherworks and a few daggers and knives thrown in, along with plastic bags of herbs and incense, and a small wooden box.

“It looks like…” Ahkmenrah opened one of the incense bags and sniffed it, before closing it again. “It certainly smells like a half-reconstructed incense, which would suggest ritual or preparation for such. I’ve got no idea why she has this.”

“Isn’t she like…really into Egyptology?”

“Perhaps that’s it, or perhaps she knows something we don’t.”

“Or she’s trying to be on the safe side.” Larry picked up a Ziploc baggie full of natron salt. “This was what you used, right? For protection, purification, drying out mummies?”

“Purification, primarily,” Ahkmenrah replied, taking the bag and playing it between his hands. “Also drying out bodies. Kept away bacteria, makes a great teeth cleaner, too.”

“Like, ancient toothpaste?”

“Before we ever thought to put it in a paste.”

“Hmm.”

Ahkmenrah sighed a little and put the baggie back in the duffel. He turned his attention to the box and gently opened it, finding a barbecue lighter and a lump of wax. “Well, she certainly left little out.” He looked over his shoulder at the gate and then stood, frowning slightly. He walked over to it and studied it, starting with the back, carved intricately with text and figures. He ran his fingers over one of the vertical lines of text and scrutinized it. Talia had been right about the text, that it seemed to be some kind of prophecy, but…

He scanned it, and in the midst of words he knew, and the phrases ‘ahk’ and ‘ka’ spelled out in cartouches with the determinative of gods and kings, he found formulae he recognized. “Ritual instructions,” he muttered to himself in Egyptian. This went deeper than he anticipated, and to tell the truth, he thought it was just a story.

***

Brunden walked out of the locker room, checking to see that he’d gotten his ID back from Larry, and started the usual business of doing his rounds as if nothing had happened. Sure, all the exhibits were alive, many nodded to him as he passed, and he nodded back, but he tried to act like it wasn’t weird. After all, it was just another day at the office. Another very, very strange day at the office.

He whistled a little and buried his hands in his pockets, trying not to get too lost by the moving paintings, a few of which almost made him want to vomit. He took a deep breath and continued on, past a hall of Greek vases whose paintings had come to life. He tried not to look at these in particular. He’d always thought of the Greeks as pretty weird when their art was static, and he didn’t want to know what they would get up to given the chance.

Brunden stopped when he heard high-pitched clicks from one of the hallways of Greek vases. He turned and walked toward it, leaning gently on a column and careful to avoid any artwork. The art seemed to appreciate this. Talia and Kahmunrah appeared to be sparring, or at least Brunden hoped they were. She could be trying to kill the bastard for all he knew, except Kahmunrah stopped every so often to coach her on some finer point of wielding that weird sword. A couple of simple things, like following a block with a counterstrike or at least an honest attempt at one, and about standing your ground and forcing your opponent to sweat, and a few more complex things about philosophy or something. Brunden didn’t follow it all, though some of it seemed to fit Talia’s situation especially well, particularly the parts about holding one’s own. He wondered if the soul remembered what was shared with it, if Kahmunrah recalled even vaguely some of the stuff Talia had told him over the years. He honestly believed, yes. Or at least, the soul came to know a face.

She figured out on her own, however, how to exploit her relatively small size, lunging toward him and slicing across his tunic. Brunden didn’t know if she’d caused any physical damage to her opponent, but he stepped back and doubled over in mild surprise. He seemed a little…proud, as well, as he turned and watched her recover and swing the sword again. This time Kahmunrah had better sense to block, and the match resumed.

Brunden had noticed early on that there was something going on between those two, and knew about what she’d said to his wax statue back when it was still on display. He’d walked in once, on accident, and found her sitting on the bench in front of the display, a half-eaten ham sandwich resting on a plastic wrap on her knee while she talked excitedly about something she’d read in an Egyptology journal pertaining to Kahmunrah’s various exploits. Brunden seemed to recall that it was about a siege at Dendera. If he didn’t know any better he would’ve thought she was talking to a wax figure of Elvis or something. It was weird on its own, of course, but Talia had explained the spiritual significance behind the action and it made its own kind of sense. (“Easy, the ba revisits the body or a statue pretty much as often as possible, as long as you keep talking to it and offering it food. Hence the extra sandwich.”)

Back then it had been a funky theology from a bygone age, but now, watching the sparring match, it was real, in the flesh. Or wax, or whatever the case may be. And that opened up its own can of worms that he really didn’t want to deal with.

They reached a sort of standoff, blades clashed against each other between them, and watched each other for several moments. Talia was breathing heavily, and a sheen of sweat had developed over the hieroglyph tattoo on her back. Then, as if sharing a silent agreement with each other, they stepped back and lowered their weapons. Talia wiped her forehead off on her arm. “So does that make sense?” Kahmunrah asked her.

She nodded, giving him a breathless, “Yeah.” She turned to face Brunden and nodded to him, and Kahmunrah peered at her back. He noticed the tattoo, then, and Brunden noticed him noticing. He wasn’t sure what to make of the situation, though Talia was just as adult as he was and he never bothered with any of her other chosen partners. Probably because they were here one day and gone the next, like nothing ever happened, and certainly never left an emotional impression on her. Brunden wondered idly if this would be the same, or different. A little itch in the back of his mind told him this was a whole other kettle of fish entirely.

Talia straightened, spinning the sword once in her hand perhaps for want of somewhere to put it. Kahmunrah glanced at Brunden. “How long have you been here?” he asked.

Brunden shrugged. “Not long.”

“You’re her…”

“Roommate,” Talia and Brunden said at once.

“Family friend,” Talia added.

“Our grandpas are tight,” Brunden replied, shrugging a little and nodding to Kahmunrah.

“I see,” Kahmunrah replied. He glanced at Talia, who glanced back for the barest moment before looking away again.

“Look, I know we’re all adults here, and what she does with herself is none of my business. But seriously, if you’ve got a problem with her you’ve got a problem with me.”

Kahmunrah scoffed. “Oh, please,” he said, smirking. “You don’t stand a chance.”

“Maybe I don’t, but the point still stands.” Brunden shrugged, fully accepting that he was much more than outmatched should they come to blows.

“You two don’t have too much fun without me,” Talia said with a smirk. They both glanced at her, but neither said anything. She merely smiled and shook her head a little. “Brunden may not be tough, and he doesn’t know the first thing about fighting, but he’s persistent and creative.”

“Oh really?”

“Well, I mean…” Brunden shrugged.

“Those are good attributes to cultivate. Not every fight need be physical,” Kahmunrah said.

“Oh. Cool.”


	14. Chapter Fourteen

“You OK?” Larry asked when Ahkmenrah returned from behind the gate, several shades paler. Ahkmenrah merely shook his head and walked over to a bench, taking a seat. He seemed to refuse to look at the pile of treasure his brother had made for himself. The Egyptian licked his lip, staring at the floor for a long, long moment before lifting his gaze to study Larry.

“There’s a story,” he said. “It’s thought of as such these days, at least. Isis sought to make her brother-husband king of the gods, and in order to do this she fashioned a snake by magic. Ra had created everything, but this doesn’t mean other gods lack creative powers. She created this snake and used it to poison Ra aboard his barque, and try as he might he could not heal himself. Play-acting, Isis intervened, saying that she could heal him, but only with his secret name.”

“What?”

“Everyone has those, Larry, even gods. It’s something like a statement of essential identity or personality, and kept as secret as possible to prevent someone causing magical harm.”

“Oh. So what happened next?”

“Ra again tried everything he could to get out of this. Possessing the true name of the creator is dangerous magic. Sadly, none of this worked, so to save his life, he agreed to her terms. True to her word, Isis healed him, but it came with a price. He was sent away somewhere unknown, banished, if you will. No one ever said where.” He glanced meaningfully at the gate.

“You think…?”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that. The gate and tablet are both ancient, and as you can probably see used to be fused together as a unit. The tablet could be ritually removed, of course, and still remain intact, but it generally wasn’t. The gate is said to have just…appeared one day somewhere, as if placed by the gods. A small village built up around it, and later morphed into something of a city. Pilgrimages to the place were quite popular, actually, because it was believed this site, this gate, had healing properties. But only if you visited at night and said the proper prayers.”

“Do you think Cecil knew about this?”

“Undoubtedly.”

Larry nodded, as if it explained a lot. “What about the…?”

“The text?” Larry nodded again.

“Yeah.”

“The priests understood it, and came to fear what it meant, on a level, but the pilgrimages were allowed to continue.” Ahkmenrah shrugged. “No one could see the harm in them.”

“Was there any?”

Ahkmenrah shook his head. “Not as far as anyone could tell. After a few thousand years, you’d think someone would’ve noticed.”

“Ah, gotcha. So, what exactly…is…all that?”

“The exact title is something like ‘Words to be spoken to reawaken Ra, Lord to the Limit, Creator of the Universe.’”

“Wow, that’s…”

Ahkmenrah chuckled a little. “We aren’t Greek when it comes to titling things. Politics? Alright, politics of what? We’re a lot more specific than that.”

“I noticed.”

Ahkmenrah continued to laugh, before pursing his lips and smiling up at Larry. Larry noticed the light in his eyes and almost felt guilty—on top of everything else he was currently feeling. He grinned at the sight of Larry’s red face. “I missed you.”

“I…”

“Shh.” Ahkmenrah stood and took a step toward him. They stood watching each other for several moments, and Larry didn’t want to look away from him, even if he could barely stand it.

Ahkmenrah’s eye went to movement over Larry’s shoulder. Brunden walked over to the treasure pile and took a closer look at it, before busting out laughing. Larry started a little and looked at him, and Brunden was standing, holding a string of beads in his hand. “Oh my God!” he said through his laughter. “Carter can’t catalog for shit!”

“Excuse me?” Kahmunrah challenged, quirking his eyebrows. Ahkmenrah recognized the look.

“Talia and I taught ourselves the cataloging system in three days,” he said, looking levelly at Kahmunrah. Talia nodded, pursing her lips. “We have to do his cataloging for him, because when he does it, shit like this happens.” He waved the string emphatically. “This is a plastic Mardi Gras trinket spray-painted gold in hopes that nobody would notice that the actual piece is lost somewhere in storage!” Talia snickered, and Kahmunrah glanced at her, but could do no more than muster a slightly angry glare. Odd, Ahkmenrah noted to himself, frowning.

“Oh,” he said tersely.

“We’ve gotta put it all back anyway,” Talia said. “Are you gonna be of any use or…?”

“Can we keep her?” Ahkmenrah asked Larry in hushed tones.

“What?” Larry asked, just as softly.

“Just…” He shrugged. “If we end up with my brother can we bring her along too? She seems adept at keeping him in line.”

“Wonder how long it’ll last…” Ahkmenrah smirked.

“For some reason I find your sass charming, but right now it’s getting a bit annoying,” Kahmunrah said to her.

“Suit yourself,” she replied simply, shrugging.

“…That’s it?”

“Well, if any other crazy supernatural shit happens there’s a solid…sixty-eight percent chance that I’ll hold you personally responsible, so bear that in mind.”

“You don’t even know what happened, why are you blaming me?”

“Because you opened the gate, you moron!” Ahkmenrah cut in.

“Oh, shut up!” Kahmunrah replied, rolling his eyes at his little brother.

“Actually he’s right,” Larry said. “If you hadn’t…hadn’t tried to take over the world, none of this would’ve…”

“What? Would’ve happened?” Kahmunrah scoffed. “Besides, what are you to him, exactly? You’re just the night guard.”

“And?” Larry asked, at the same point Ahkmenrah said, “Be quiet!” They glanced at each other.

Brunden leaned in to Talia. “Should we ghost?” he whispered.

“Unless you’ve got a better idea,” she replied. He merely shrugged, and they started to work, sorting out the plastic from the real stuff and then sorting the real stuff by wing. At least this gave them a chance to dig up the stuff in storage that should be on display and rectify Carter’s mistakes.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all, I'm finally back! It's been a crazy life so far, so I apparently haven't been on since February, but I'm here now, and back with brand new chapters! :D

Kahmunrah regarded his brother for several moments, and Ahkmenrah did likewise, until Larry felt absolutely awkward standing between them. “OK, guys, enough,” he said. “Enough. Alright? We get it. Kah, you blame your brother for your parents liking him more. Ahk, you blame him for opening the gate—”

“And my painful resurrection,” Ahkmenrah said.

“I…did not know that,” Larry replied, ceding the point. The brothers went back to watching each other. “This is just like with the Civil War puppet guys, OK? They were brothers, just like you guys. And guys…the Egypt that you knew is gone. It’s dead, alright? It hasn’t been the same country in thousands of years, of being conquered by Greeks and Romans and…Persians and…Muslims… Everybody got a big piece of Egypt at some point or another, it’s not the same country anymore.”

“He’s right,” Ahkmenrah said to his brother, keeping his gaze level, then he switched to Egyptian. Larry didn’t understand all of it, but Kahmunrah did. “Our gods are all but dead, our temples are ruins. Bits of Egypt are in museums all over the world, our language is seen as dead.” Kahmunrah’s gaze hardened, and he pursed his lips. He felt his blood starting to boil, but this time he had no defined target. He spun on his heel and pitched his _khopesh_ into a glass case, shattering it.

“Is he OK?” Larry asked Ahkmenrah softly.

“No! I am _not_ OK!” Kahmunrah replied, spinning to face him again and jabbing his finger at the night guard. Larry took a small step back. “How could I _possibly_ be OK?! How can you think you can tell me what happened to Egypt and expect me to be _fine_!? _I_ defended Egypt. _I did_! From enemy after enemy and invader after invader. And I did not do this for some punk like you to tell me _my nation_ had been gutted like a fish!” He backed Larry into a wall, and Ahkmenrah shuffled out of the way. Ahkmenrah wanted to reach out and touch his brother, but instead he bit his lip and looked away. In spite of everything he had almost never seen Kahmunrah this…. Not angry, outraged. Purely and simply outraged. Kahmunrah stood, watching Larry and breathing heavily through his nose, his lips pressed into a thin line. Larry stared back, quite unsure the reaction he was supposed to give to a show like that.

Ahkmenrah stepped forward then, gently resting a hand on his brother’s shoulder but saying nothing. Kahmunrah straightened, shifting into surprise immediately and looking over his shoulder at Ahkmenrah. He turned, and Ahkmenrah lowered his hand. They regarded each other in silence, and Larry looked on, asking himself how Ahkmenrah could be so gentle and understanding, given the circumstances. Sure, he was generally a gentle, patient man, but not even a saint could hold out forever. Ahkmenrah looked at Larry then, and said, “The first thing to know about my brother is that he’s been a soldier since puberty.”

“Oh. Right. So it’s a…”

“Actually not at all,” Kahmunrah said. “Or perhaps a little.” He looked at Larry again and shrugged. “What else do I know?”

“And then you were…”

He nodded. “In defiance of tradition, I should point out,” Ahkmenrah added. “And for the sake of having everything on the table, I never asked for it. I was even surprised.” He looked at Kahmunrah. “I think you’d have done a great job, given the chance. I think you _did_ , all things considered. Me, on the other hand? If you hadn’t done me in someone else would’ve. I floundered like a fish on the shore. If it wasn’t a ritual I didn’t know what I was doing. I was sure to be caught any moment and exposed, if people didn’t care so much about the king’s reputation.” He gave a nervous, self-depreciating laugh and looked away for a split second.

Kahmunrah merely blinked. “Really?” he asked, stunned enough to revert to Egyptian subconsciously. Ahkmenrah nodded.

“Before that announcement I was happily training to be a priest. I was alright with that. You’re a lot better at things like conquest than I could ever be.”

“Not diplomacy, I’m pretty sure,” Kahmunrah quipped in Egyptian.

Ahkmenrah flashed a light smile in response, and shrugged. “We could’ve been a pretty kick-ass team,” he noted.

Kahmunrah shrugged. “Possibly.”

_Oh, my god, did I actually get them to talk?_ Larry asked himself, watching the scene in front of him. _Maybe some things can be fixed after all._ He looked around at the mess, the shattered glass and disarray of exhibits and jewelry. He spotted Brunden, puzzling slightly over the armchair, and walked up to him. “Here, lemme help you with that,” he said, grabbing the other side and lifting. Brunden thanked him, and they were halfway down the disassembled pile of whatever he’d gathered around him for…some reason when Al, Napoleon, and Ivan slid into the room, babbling incoherently. Talia was right behind them, pale and breathing heavily as she leaned on the wall. Brunden and Larry set the chair down, and Larry approached the exhibits.

“Hey, guys, what’s going on?” he asked. The babbling continued, so he shushed them. “OK, OK, guys, one at a time here.”

“It’s the sky!” Ivan said. “Something is wrong with the sky!”

“What?”

Ivan stared at him and shrugged. Napoleon chose to babble next, in French. “Sorry, I can’t speak French,” Larry replied. Napoleon gave him a look. He nodded, catching the general meaning and turning toward the huge gaping hole in the window, peering out at the sky.

Something was wrong.

His eyes widened and his mouth fell open as he watched huge patches form in the sky itself, revealing a black abyss beyond. _What?_ A strange, heavily deep sound cut through the air, shaking everything and everyone around it. It left behind some kind of coldness in Larry and probably in everyone who heard it. His vision cleared after several moments, and he stared up at the sky again. He almost didn’t notice that Ahkmenrah and Kahmunrah had come to join him, and the three of them looked on as the sky continued to fall apart, revealing hints of a feminine silhouette. Larry worried she might fall, and had no idea what that would mean for the rest of the world.

The wind picked up, as if it, too, were worried about the consequences of a falling sky. In the abyss, which moved a little like water and caught some of the light from the sun the way he expected water would, a form hovered just under the surface. Was it the source of that awful screech? Probably, though he didn’t want to take any guesses. The form shifted and slithered, before it finally poked his head out of one of the holes in the sky. It seemed to simultaneously exist and not exist, though what he could see resembled a snake, larger than any snake Larry had ever seen or even heard of. It slithered over the sky toward the sun, and impulsively Larry checked the time. 8:48 AM. The creature opened its gaping mouth, turning on its side so that Larry saw the whole spectacle. It looked vaguely Asian, but it also looked like everything else, and seemed to shift with the tides. In a single movement, the ball of light that was the Sun disappeared, plunging everything back into night.

Larry glanced at Ahkmenrah and Kahmunrah, gauging their reaction. Ahkmenrah looked pale and dizzy. Kahmunrah looked away, his eyes flicking about like he was reliving something he’d seen long ago, half-remembered, or possibly in a dream. “Are…are you guys OK?” Larry asked.

“It’s over,” Ahkmenrah whispered. “It’s over, the world is ending, we’re all gonna die.”

“ _Ma-beiah_!” Kahmunrah said firmly, pulling back into himself. “ _No_!” He glanced at Larry. “I need to borrow the break room again.”

“Yeah, go for it,” Larry said. Kahmunrah turned and set off across the room, picking up his sword while barely breaking stride, and Larry and Ahkmenrah followed him with their eyes, before Ahkmenrah followed his brother. Larry quickly fell into step beside him.

“You’re very lucky,” Ahkmenrah said to him. “Usually people don’t survive my brother’s wrath.”

“Yeah, thanks. You…”

“He’s my brother, Larry. Someone’s got to level him out.”

“Yeah, but you’re like…a…”

“Kid?” they said at the same time. “Larry, I’m seventeen. I’ve been responsible for dozens of ambitious nobles, most of whom much older than I. I’m quite certain I can handle my brother.”

“Even after he…”

“I’m well aware of what happened, please don’t remind me again.”

“OK.”

“Besides which the matter is infinitely more complex than he might’ve led you to believe.”

“Really?”

Ahkmenrah nodded. “The first clue is that he let me reign for two years and some change. If he wanted the crown purely for its own sake he would’ve done it sooner.”

“Oh…”

“I also looked him in the eye when he did it. That’s not something you easily forget.”

“…Oh. I’m…”

“Don’t.”

“OK.” Larry pursed his lips and looked away. Ahkmenrah glanced at him and frowned slightly before setting eyes on his brother’s back.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

“OK, blueprints for every floor of Smithsonian Castle, including the original basement,” Brunden replied, unrolling a large booklet of architectural plans across the break room table. Nick looked up at his father, wondering what on earth was going on, and McPhee stood in the corner. Ahkmenrah and Kahmunrah stood across from each other, with Talia off to one side, arms folded across her chest. Larry had asked after the other exhibits, but received a noncommittal “meh” from Dr. McPhee, though thankfully Amelia had agreed to look after them in case any other strange things decided to happen. Larry warned her that the Huns in particular were “easily frightened,” and no one asked, least of all McPhee.

Ahkmenrah flipped through pages of the booklet before finding a page that represented the floor they were on now, and they chatted briefly in Egyptian.

“The gate is here,” Kahmunrah said, pointing. “We can’t very well move it, it’s much too heavy. Are these here exits?”

“Yes, but I should point out this isn’t just a strategic war. That thing swallowed a star.”

“I noticed,” Kahmunrah said sardonically, giving his brother a look. His brother responded in kind. “The men I summoned from the underworld already will be set to guard the gate. As for everyone else…”

“The next safest place at a time like this will be the Washington Monument.”

“The what?”

“The big white obelisk at the other end of the National Mall.”

“The where?”

“You need help.” Kahmunrah shifted his weight and rocked his head slightly, and Ahkmenrah sighed. “This is a capitol city, and the people of this nation, like most nations, have built huge monuments here to remember their history, including their most famous leaders. The obelisk is one of them.”

“And what of these other monuments?”

“Most are modeled after Greek design.”

“Oh. I see.”

“Yeah, they’re as good as doomed.” Kahmunrah couldn’t help but smirk. “That thing will probably come after us next, or at least the gate. I need time.”

“Why?”

“The text on the gate is a ritual.”

“Really?”

“This is why you need to be able to read.” Ahkmenrah took a deep breath. “It’s called ‘Words to be spoken to reawaken Ra’.”

“You can’t mean…”

“I’m afraid I do.”

“That’s just a legend!”

“And so’s the thing that just ate the sun! This shit is real, Kahmunrah!” For a moment all was silent, and even those who didn’t know a single word of Egyptian suspected Ahkmenrah dropped a swear word in there somewhere. Kahmunrah blinked, quirking his eyebrows and watching in stunned silence for several long moments. Ahkmenrah regarded him evenly, with flashes of anxiety on his face.

“Wait, didn’t you say the tablet was more powerful than I could ever know?” Larry asked Kahmunrah. He had some inkling of what they were talking about, and hoped he was going in the right direction.

Kahmunrah looked at him. “Yes. I did.” He looked at Ahkmenrah, who was still regarding him.

“Opening a door to the underworld is also a parlor trick,” Ahkmenrah said in English. “Just like bringing things to life.”

“How did you know?”

“No one ever asked, so whatever I picked up I kept to myself. Most of it is hearsay, of course, but some of it’s correct. It’s got to be, or we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.”

“So what’s our rule for this going forward?” Larry asked. “Real until proven otherwise or…?” He shrugged, trailing off and looking back and forth between the brothers.

“As far as Egyptian goes, yes,” Kahmunrah said.

“As for everything else, we’ll have to wait and see until something comes up,” Ahkmenrah added.

“And for right now…”

“…We get the rest of you safe and deal with that new snakeskin rug ourselves,” Ahkmenrah finished.

“Are you sure we…can?” Larry asked.

Ahkmenrah shrugged. “We’ve got to try.”

***

“Alright, here’s what we need to do,” Ahkmenrah said, as he and his brother marked spots all over the castle that would ultimately lead the monster to the Gate of Kahmunrah. “There are seven phases to ultimate defeat of this creature, you’ll notice we’re not naming him. That’s deliberate. Phase one: spitting.”

“For the genuine article we need an awful lot of water,” Kahmunrah said.

“I know where to find a painting,” Larry replied.

“Good. Otherwise there’s still the mall,” Ahkmenrah said.

“The octopus might be able to help.”

The two Egyptians nodded. “Phase two: left foot.”

“Lemme guess, Grecian column or battering ram from the roof.”

“Well done,” Kahmunrah said with a light smile.

“Phase three,” Ahkmenrah continued. “Lance. For which we’ll need everyone with any skill with an arrow or spear. Even if they can’t shoot straight. Phase four: Fetters.”

“The little cowboys trapped me with ropes. I mean I pulled free but still.”

“That’s where we start, then. Phase five: Knife.”

“Another battering ram?”

“I think we can only manage the one,” Kahmunrah noted. “We’ll need something else.”

“Big sword, perhaps?” Ahkmenrah said, shrugging slightly.

“We can make that work.”

“Alright. Phase six: Fire.”

“Neanderthals,” Larry said, and Ahkmenrah grinned, knowing exactly what he meant. Kahmunrah frowned, but shrugged it off after a few moments. “I presume phase seven is getting him through that door to the underworld.”

“Exactly,” Ahkmenrah said.

“OK. I’ll organize everybody, and anybody who’s too vulnerable we’ll take to the obelisk.”

“We’ll help,” Brunden said.

“Wait, what?” Talia asked, looking at him. “I mean I’m not against helping but dude.”

“I mean, I’ll help. If she wants, she can.”

“Thank you. And I’m in.”

“Great,” Larry said. He looked at the brothers. “You guys got this?”

“Of course,” Ahkmenrah said with a sly half-smile. “You’re in the company of the greatest strategic mind Egypt ever produced. And me.”

“Aw, thank you,” Kahmunrah said to his brother. Larry nodded, and he, Brunden, and Talia filed out of the room.

“You guys too,” Larry said to Nick and McPhee. McPhee gave a small “Oh!” and went after him, Nicky at his heels.

When they were alone in the room, Ahkmenrah turned to his brother. “They’re lucky that’s not our actual plan,” Kahmunrah said, smiling a little.

“Yep,” Ahkmenrah replied.


End file.
